5 To be sick..

You need to be healthy to be sick is a saying in Norway. And it is so true.
You have doctors appointments all the time, usually once a week. You have to see you're family doctor to have one place where all the information get stored. And then there is the specialists.
You also need to talk to Nav to get sick pay. And that its not always easy.
When you have done all that, then you can call Helfo to get the right forms in order so that they will pay for the medication. And you need papers that actually verifies that they will pay for the medication. And take the papers to you're family doctor, because Helfo didn't send a copy to them.
Then you're family doctor will write the prescriptions. You take a doctors certificate along the way to get the leave from school. But of course, the family doctor didn't use the word "too sick", only sick, so then you have to go back to the doctor to get a new certificate.

When all that is finally done, you need to get a physical therapist, a acupuncture, a psychologist and see them at least once or twice a week.
And of course I cant eat the semi-finished food, so everything have to be made from scratch. Cooking is therefor a time consuming affair in our household. And my boyfriends egg, and nut allergies is just the icing on a cake.
And because you're energy level is on 10%, house cleaning obligations is a time consuming affair. And somewhere in the middle of this I need to rest.
But I have a hard time resting, because then comes the thought about the future, and the nightmares when I do get some sleep.
And thats the hardest thing of all, what will my future bring???

0 Your own way...

I know from reading others blog out there, that I am not the only one, who are given up by the doctors.
Its not easy trying to find your own way. some try conventional medicine, and others go the alternative way.
I will probably try a way in the middle. I believe in taking the best from both sides. Then you will get the best from both worlds.

Take migraine for example, I would try to go to acupuncture before I would take medication. Because the side effects from acupuncture is far less then the prescription stuff.
On the other side, if I broke my leg, I would go to the hospital. Because I don't think there are anyone who would go to acupuncture to fix their broken leg.

So i believe in Both worlds.I don't want to put one over the other. I do see that those who are given up by conventional medicine don't have any where else to turn then too alternative medicine.
But as long as there is a hope for me, I will keep on fighting for my right to get help from the doctors as well as from the alternative!

2 what now

i have tried pills Adalat no effect, Viagra(Sildenafil) no effect, in any way at all. you get where i am going, they have tried Botox 4 times, 2 times successful, and 2 times not the improvement that we had hoped for. i have taken stesolid, ketorax IV, morphine IV (stopped using morphine IV cause I had an allergic reaction), antidepressants, oxyContin, ketalar, ketroax PCA pump, nitroglycerin(1, 2), ketogan, lyrica, neurontin, epidural and a whole lot more i can’t even remember. but look at the bright side, who else have gotten the government to pay for Botox and Viagra??

i have tried acupuncture (see bottom of the page), 3 drops of peppermint oil in a glass of water, Oliclinomel, and i am going to try hypnosis to better deal with the whole pain situation. i am willing to try everything, and when you end up in my position you have to try everything, or you have lost. I also go to a psychologist; you have to treat your whole body, not just the physical but also the psychic part. everything goes together.
Of course there are days that i crawl under my blankets and want to stay there forever, but that is a part of the healing process. to come to terms with the fact that this is permanent, but i am far from coming to terms with it, hell no....

but i can’t keep doing this everything is perfect to friends and family, i have to change, i have this problem that i don’t want people to see that i am sick, but how can people be considerate if they don’t know that i am having a bad day. my only fear is that they will see it as irritating and not just me being sick me. we have to work on that one.
I must do this for me, and only me, and don’t feel guilty because i cant just do things impulsively. i have medicines and energy level to take into account when i say yes or no to something. and i guess i cant feel guilty if i don’t have the energy to do everything.
but i always feel guilty if i don’t give a 110% for someone else, i live to help others, probably why i joined the red cross to help. it gives me more, then i think i give them, but still, i have to learn to say NO, but how do i do that without feeling bad? i wanna make people feel good... without draining myself of energy