8 My Doctor

Today I was at my family doctor, and I must say I got a reality check, big time. He told me that : You know this is not going away. You are going to live with this. But it is going to get better, but it is going to take a lot of time. And in a few years you are going to look back at this time and see that you are moving forward.
But you shouldn't have to much hope in medication or different procedures out there, because a lot of them won't  help you.

I think he was refreshingly honest with me, most doctor walk around the bush to much. Yes the stone cold truth can hurt, but it can also build you up, and when you know what to fight against, its easier to pull up you're sleeves and go get you're life back.
This is a lot of big words, and right now I am so sad that I feel that the system is giving me up, so I am going to cry this weekend, and call every doctor I can think of, on Monday. I am going to nag my way back to get the help I know I deserve.

4 When I get some strength back

When I get a little better, which I hoped was yesterday, I am going to go watch 127 hours.
I like the idea of what a person can do in order to survive. How far would you go? How much would you fight to live? Why don't everybody fight?
I guess mans greatest questions aren't gonna get answered tonight... Enjoy the trailer :)

4 Because of them

Isn't that what all of sick people out there are trying to find; a cure, or a way to make life manageable?
Illness doesn't really show any racism, it hits us all hard. maybe in different ways, but we all go through the same stages of pain before we get to realization, denial, anger, or grief are some of the steps we have to take if we have a painful chronic disease, or a deadly illness.

We all have to find our own way to fight. and some times we give up for a couple of hours or days, and then we pick ourselves up again and start over. not one of us will give up without a fight, and we can't, if you have a bad day think of the people around you. and fight for them.

The worst for me when I was going to be put on a respirator was that if I died? How could I be there for them? And to say that it is okay? To give them a shoulder to cry on? When I was on that respirator I didn't fight for me, i fought for them...
I knew that they could live without me, but I couldn't be the reason for their pain, because I gave up.
That's what I did, and keep doing.