2 To much at once

This few weeks have been so hard. my grandmother was hasted into surgery, because they found a tumor in hel colon. it was so big that she couldn't go to the toilet. but she is the most strong fears little woman I have ever met. And she has so much empathy for other. When I visited her at the hospital she was more worried about me.
I got to talk to her before the surgery because we didn't now how it would go, but she was comforting me. I cried the entire time. As I have said before, I have never really lost someone in my closest family, and now I am coming to the understanding that I will loose some of the people I love, and I cant deal.. I feel my emotions is in crisis,fog mode. I am here, but nor really...
Tomorrow we get the news if her cancer has spread to other organs, so my pulse is through the roof.. I love this sweet hard headed woman so much..

6 When is it going to stop?

I have been to the hospital today, and it seems that they have gotten the cell changes from the colposcopy I did in December. But here comes the kicker:
I have some cell changes in the cervical canal And they want that taken out, so I have to have another surgery.
Its not over people, Do I ever have just one ting happening to me when I am in or at the hospital?
No, No, NO.... I also have a Ovarian Cyst that has grown form 3 cm to almost 5 in 2 months. Or since I did my first biopsy of the cervix.
I didn't think to much about it then, because I have had cysts since I was 17 years old. My doctor wanted to talk to another physician about removing it. They also took some blood work on me to rule out cancer cells.
So in a week I know whether I am just having the cells changes taken out, or I am also having either a laparoscopic surgery, or open surgery. It all comes down to how it looks. My doctor also said that I stand a chance at loosing one of my ovaries. I guess I just have to take it as it comes. Not much I can do with any of this anyway.

But it wasn't cancer.....  I don't have cancer.. and that is good news..