Timeline

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Showing posts with label Withdrawal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Withdrawal. Show all posts

Saturday, January 22, 2011

11 Saturday....

Today is one of those day I never thought that I would have, ever again.
I have actually cleaned the hole house. I have been through my jewelery, and thrown out the ones that were broken. I have washed clothes, and the kitchen is looking spotless.
And..... drum roll please.......... I have eaten an omelet!

I have promised my mom that I am not going to lie about how I feel. I have a problem in that area, I am so used to not telling anyone how much pain I have been in with my back.
I always had this feeling that people wouldn't be around me if I told them every time we were together that I was in pain. So I started to hide it, and I became very good at it, a real pokerface.
I also had this idea that if I cried "wolf" to many times that no one would listen to me when I needed help.
And I did feel just that when I told the doctors a year ago that something was wrong with my lung.
This one doctor he said that I only had withdrawal pain. He wasn't to cocky 3 days later when I was put on the respirator.
 There is one thing I have realized over the last year, I know my body better than anyone, and no one is ever going to tell me than nothing is wrong when I can feel it with every bone in my body.

I was going to write after omelet : But it doesn't stop there.............. I have not been lying on the couch after words in great pain!
But that would have been I lie, and I am never going to lie to you or to myself ever again. If I feel sick, then that is what I am going to tell you....