Sunday, June 26, 2011

0 Quote

Khalil Gibran wrote:
"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls. The most massive characters are seared with scars."

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

2 Play nice please

For the first time in my life I have needed to explain my patient file to a doctor for 25 min. and I think he didn't understand anything..( substitute doctor)
Then I had to explain that my weight gain over the last few months is because of the meds.. shouldn't he know that??
Then I had to tell him every drug I am on, and  all the doctors I have been too, and their names. Then I told him my doses and what I have gotten before.
He didn't want to give me what I needed, and he asked me for my I.d. that has never happened before in my life.I thought the pharmacies took care of the drugs to the right patients??
Then I saw that Lyrica wasn't on blue prescription, and I told him that.
Then he yelled at me for taking time of other patients, and if I needed the drugs that badly then I just had to pay full price for that.

I am so sick of always walking crying out of a doctors office.. Why do they think that us who have been sick for a long time can take more hard, and mean words then any body else? I feel like I am about to explode into a million pieces of glass, any day now.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

0 Who needs help,but can't express it??

Did you know that those who appears to be very strong, often are the most sensitive?
Did you know that those who spend all their time taking care of others, can be the one that needs to be taken care of?
Did you know that the three things that are hardest to say is:
I love you /I am sorry/ Help me!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011


What is hope? I have thought a lot about this question over the last couple of years.
In my heart/head I have had it, lost it, searching for it, and hating it!
Even after all I have been trough I still hold on to the idea that everything will be alright.
But what about those time that it doesn't. When people lose faith, or is it because they have accepted reality. They know that there will be no living outcome for their decease!

Everyone i know have hope for a future they dream of. They sometimes get scattered because we all get hurt from time to time. But to be able to put the pieces back together, that is the true testament of a person that has HOPE..

Thursday, June 9, 2011

0 Doctor- patient confidentiality

I hate the way the government say that they are trying to protect you're privacy bye not sharing you're patient records when all it does is that you don't get the care and help that you deserve.
When you go to a specialist you assume that they have you're patient records, but no.. The Norwegian hospitals, emergency room, doctors and specialist, they don't share you're records, they protect it, so that no one can find out what happened to you.
Because if you cant find it out, then maybe you want sue them. It has nothing to do with protecting you, its all about protecting themselves!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

0 Mad....

Why is it today that all that matters are food, exercise, and fashion?
What have we become? What are we doing to our selfs?
When became it wrong to be me? You cant take anything with you the day you dye, the only thing you have are you're memories!

Go out into the world and make memories, maybe a few babies along the way  :) But remember to wake up each day with a purpose. The rest is just clutter. 200 years from now, no one will remember you for the 5/11 (Kilo/Lbs)  to many on you're stomach, or that you skipped practice last Friday. The bad hair day 4 weeks ago is long gone, though my history will be told to as many people as possible.. Thats how I will be remembered!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

0 My Show, My life

Who would know that my life could be made into a movie, unfortunately all it needs is a happy ending.
I am on my couch waiting for the ending, not my life, but my "sick life", I want the ever after, not the movie that is my twisted, sickening life..
There is a substantial chunk of my waking hour that goes into watching shows, and movies.. There are some twisted, and U turns that is "Hollywood", but they always get what they want.

But is life like the movies? Do we get our dreams in the end? Or is our dreams what we get, but didn't know that we wanted!
So what Is life about? Love. Lust, Passion, Work, Reproduction, Pets, House, Volvo, Travel, Food, Illness,grieving, Workout, or cleaning me Casa??
I Don't have the answer.... But then again, who does??

0 New Doctor

My new doctor seemed nice. Very kind hearted at first sight.
The doctor said that I shouldn't be like this and that they would do something. But first they needed my journal, and see what I have been through. I guess that alone will keep them occupied for months :)

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

0 My Doctor, Old Doctor, New Doctor, Happy Me????

I am so fed up with my family doctor. She wrote me the wrong prescription, and thats not ok when it is medicine that I really need. But it doesn't stop there. I called her up but she is on vacation so I had to call back on Monday, and then they could give her a note. why couldn't they do that when I called so she would get it right away when she got to the office. But the secretary was so rude to me, so I was in shock.
Well then I looked at my new appointment, and don't you think that that she gave me a date in August in stead of June!
So now I have changed my  family doctor. I need a doctor that is healthy enough to fight for me, not the other way around. I need a doctor who is present at her work, and not having so much personal problems so that she isn't in her past, when she needs to be in present.

This is the new Doctor I am getting Friday, and I am exited, because a new doctor is a new pair of eyes that maybe sees this illness in a another light.
I called today. I was on fight mode, as I am used to fight for a appointment a month from now.
Anyways.. I said I had esophagus spasms, and the secretary said that.. Then you need a appointment soon, So can you come on Friday at 9:30 am??
I was in shock.. I usually have to cry,and make a seen in order to get in that day, or I have to wait a month..
This is new for me... And in the future.. I don't have to be scared when I call my doctor. I like it.
Lets see how I feel after Friday ;)