For the first time in my life I have needed to explain my patient file to a doctor for 25 min. and I think he didn't understand anything..( substitute doctor)
Then I had to explain that my weight gain over the last few months is because of the meds.. shouldn't he know that??
Then I had to tell him every drug I am on, and all the doctors I have been too, and their names. Then I told him my doses and what I have gotten before.
He didn't want to give me what I needed, and he asked me for my I.d. that has never happened before in my life.I thought the pharmacies took care of the drugs to the right patients??
Then I saw that Lyrica wasn't on blue prescription, and I told him that.
Then he yelled at me for taking time of other patients, and if I needed the drugs that badly then I just had to pay full price for that.
I am so sick of always walking crying out of a doctors office.. Why do they think that us who have been sick for a long time can take more hard, and mean words then any body else? I feel like I am about to explode into a million pieces of glass, any day now.
Many times I have left my doctors office in tears and heavy sobs. I could only manage to fall on the grass and call my husband. Just to hear him breathing is like a big hug to me during those times. What can he say?! He is going through this with me and knows I only want help. I am NOT a drug seeker or drug addict. I am just trying to have my doctor understand that some days I need medication for my pain and other days I do not. I am not looking to be pain free but to be able to take the pain level from tormenting to tolerable on certain days or when life needs me to leave my house. I need to leave sometimes for fun times as well to keep my mental state sane. But, when it is near impossible, because of pain, to walk up the stairs, from my cabin, to the bus, then to walk to the doctors office, only to have the doctor deny me help, rattles me to my inner core. I changed doctors 3 times and finally found one who cares. The rest, yes, can go f themselves. I will never forgive the others for those days I could barely make it to their office and did NOTHING to help me when I got there. To be turned away, yet again. To fall in the grass sobbing while strangers walked by me. To find comfort and strength just from hearing my husband breathing on the other end of the phone. It gave me strength to go to store and to make my way back home in same pain, if not worse. But when my husband came home, I needed not to say a word. He was with me all day. He knew nothing changed. He just washed up from work and helped me finish cooking our dinner. Me crying silent tears. He saying how brave I am and how very much he loves me. He lessens my pain. He is my best medicine. :-)
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way. Without my boyfriend I would be lost.
ReplyDeleteHe yells at the doctors, and have heated discussions with them. He knows my condition inside out, and have read every article about it...
And If I am nervous one day, he will go with me to the family doctor just to hold my hand..
He also knows me so well that he can see when I need comfort, or need to be left alone...
And I tell him everyday, that he is everything to me, I will not let him think that I am taking him for granted, and boy he most love me, who have stand by me through all this...
We are lucky in love.. maybe that why we draw the short straw when it came to health??
Hugs Alex