Monday, February 28, 2011

0 Myers-Briggs Type Indicator

Yesterday I found this really interesting test. The test is called Myers-Briggs Type Indicator.
MBTI shows you how you're personality is, and if you get energy from being alone, or together with people. It also shows you how you're personality is.How you are in a relationship, and what jobs you would be best at. And it is very accurate. There is sixteen different personality types.

Extraversion (E) - (I) Introversion
       Sensing (S) - (N) Intuition
      Thinking (T) - (F) Feeling
     Judgment (J) - (P) Perception

I became ENFJ (extraversion, intuition, feeling, judgment).ENFJ are 2–5% of the population.
ENFJs are Teachers, Politicians and Events Coordinators.
        I am a mentor, defender, sensitive to those who are excluded, natural cheerleader, take commitments seriously, reliable, loyal, supportive, honest, well-organized, center of attention, genuine interested in humankind, worry excessively, controlling, sensitive to criticism, need approval, good money skills, want a lifelong relationship, smothering, over-protective, don't pay enough attention to my own needs, sensitive to conflict, tendency to blame myself when things go wrong, and not give myself credit when things go right ,exceptionally good people skills, encouraging others, need time alone, reserved about exposing myself, strongly-felt beliefs, place other people's needs above my own, carry a conversation well,  hate to disappoint others, and the perfect hostess.
So do this sound like me?? My boyfriend thinks its very close, scaringly close. Interested yet? You find the test here!  Have fun ♥♥♥ I know I did.
For more information about the MBTI take a look at here!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

5 The good with the bad

After the hard news on Friday, I have been thinking a lot. And even though I maybe should know when to call it quits, I am not going to to that.
I want my dream, I think I deserve my dream. Soo many people says that the good people always get stuff slammed in their face. I say that because they get all this bad things happening to them, is what makes them good.

That is life, the good comes with the bad. Its like I say to my boyfriend, we fight trough the bad, and enjoy the good. I do think we have been trough enough bad for several lifetimes, but it makes us humble. And we know that life can be cut short, so you better enjoy it while it lasts.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

2 Baby Foot

A week ago I thought I would try Babyfoot. It is suppose to be this revolutionary product that will remove dead skin and leave you're feet smooth as a baby.
I wanted to try this because I don't have the strength to give myself pedicures every week. Yes I am a dermatologist to the bone. But when you are sick it is not easy to take care of the little things that will make you feel better.

It was very easy, just sit and relax with the pack on you're feet. And the dead skin did fall of over the next week, but I still don't feel that my skin is baby smooth.
But when I Googled it it did say that you have to wait 3-4 weeks to see the result, so I am hoping.
The manufacture says that in extreme cases you might need a second application. I take good care of my feet, so that means that everyone needs a second go ??
But if it don't get better I don't think it is worth 30$

Friday, February 25, 2011

8 My Doctor

Today I was at my family doctor, and I must say I got a reality check, big time. He told me that : You know this is not going away. You are going to live with this. But it is going to get better, but it is going to take a lot of time. And in a few years you are going to look back at this time and see that you are moving forward.
But you shouldn't have to much hope in medication or different procedures out there, because a lot of them won't  help you.

I think he was refreshingly honest with me, most doctor walk around the bush to much. Yes the stone cold truth can hurt, but it can also build you up, and when you know what to fight against, its easier to pull up you're sleeves and go get you're life back.
This is a lot of big words, and right now I am so sad that I feel that the system is giving me up, so I am going to cry this weekend, and call every doctor I can think of, on Monday. I am going to nag my way back to get the help I know I deserve.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

0 FIS Nordic World Ski Championships

I am a Norwegian, in every possible way. I love the World Ski Championship.
Okay we Norwegians are not happy if we don't take the gold home. But this year we are at home. And that means that we want all the gold, silver and bronze medals.
If I am in better shape, we will go see the WC this weekend. So I am crossing my fingers.
It is better to see if from home in the worm house and cozy couch. But since my mom made me the WC sweater and headband I do feel I need to make the most of it. Also because it is in Oslo, my hometown. Its not that many chances one get to see this at home.

This is the time that I hate the most when I am sick. I love the winter, and winter sports, and I cant be a part of it. You see everyone typing in facebook that they are going to see the medal ceremony or see the different WC events. It hurts that I cant be a part of it.

But again I am hoping.
That is the only thing I have left, and I am keeping it!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

0 Wednesday

Today I am having one of to many bad days. Not fun when everything hurts like hell.
When I drink lemonade it feels like I am swallowing a cow.
But yesterday I bought a book about living with a chronic disease.. I am looking forward to reading it.
I am hoping that it will give me some basic points on how to deal with my illnesses

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

7 Flowers

I have gotten a mixed relationship with flowers.
On the one hand I love having them, and how they light up a room.
On the other hand they remind me of the hospital. Thankfully, one of the hospitals I was admitted to had a strict no flower policy. Otherwise I would have slept in a flower shop.
But when you still are sick it is nice to watch them when you are having a bad week.
But if I was healthy I would much rather use the money one going to a restaurant with my boy.
I guess I still dream of food I cant eat right now, but I do get that I most likely never will eat normal again.
But I guess that is what we people do, we hope, even if we shouldn't!

Monday, February 21, 2011

2 Couch day

Today my health is not to good. I guess I am paying for doing to much this weekend.
I am damned if I do, and damned if I don't. So what do I do ?
Lock myself in the rest of my life? To do nothing so I will keep the pain at a minimum?
What about the rest of the time when esophagus spasms starts without notice?
I am so scared of not having the life I dreamt of. I have changed carrier twice, and I don't know if I have it in me to change again, or the stamina to get another education!!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

0 Busy weekend..

This weekend, It has been 5 birthdays, and only three I have been able to attend to.  And one housewarming party. It is to much that is going on.I am so tired right now. And this year is filled with people who have anniversaries.I  And if I am going to every one, I am gonna be one busy girl.
I am also going to be 30 myself. And I have no idea how to celebrate it!

I don't want a big party, how fun is it going to be when everybody is drunk and I am the only sober one?
I don't know what to do, because I cant elope, and I don't want a big party.
I only wish I had it in the wintertime, because then I could have a sledging party, or something really childish. And serve hot cocoa and Schoolbread.
But what the hell do you do in the summer? I guess I have to think about it some more, but the day is coming fast...

Saturday, February 19, 2011

0 Peppermint oil.. Vol 2

Last time I tried peppermint oil, it was a total failure. But I am not a girl that quits that easy. So now I have purchased peppermint tea online, and today the tea arrived..

The tea smells really strong of peppermint, so I know already that this tea is gonna clear up my sinuses. And chase every single germs, and viruses away from my property!
Lets hope we have a better outcome this time :) To Be Continued........

Friday, February 18, 2011

2 My Boy

My boyfriend is pretty amazing. He stands by me no matter what, he tolerates my mood swings, My need to keep the house clean and tidy. And if I cant have kids that is okay with him, because what matter is that I am here and alive. So this weekend I am taking a grenade for him, enjoy :)

2 Forgetting the big tings

I don't know what it is, but I seem to have zero concentration, and I forget everything.
If I haven't put it on my calender on my phone, I am not doing it.
It is also hard with school, I cant remember nothing of my curriculum, and I hate that.
I have always remembered everything, so much that my boyfriend calls me the encyclopedia. I know I cant remember my own phone number to save my life. And yesterday I forgot to change my Durogesic patch. That means 24 hours in hell until the patch starts working again.

Thats whats scaring me, that I have to live in this hell, the rest of my life. I thought that what we did her on earth decided if we went to heaven or to hell. And not that earth was hell. Then again I have not had much faith lately anyway.

Thursday, February 17, 2011


As I have written before, many of my problems started with the Nissen Fundoplication. And until now this has been the only way to permanently relive Acid reflux (GERD).
But now The Linx™ anti-reflux treatment system has become available. There have begun a commercial launch in Europe. And the Linx™ has already been implanted in over 150 patients worldwide.
I think it about time that something else that hopefully will work better, and with fewer complications would come on the marked.

This is implanted with the use of laparoscopic, the same as Nissen Fundoplication. So I do hope that they will have less problems But in the world today, no matter how technological we have become, Surgery is still risky business.
Torax Medical Inc. has received CE Mark certification for its LINX™ Anti-Reflux Treatment system.
Unfortunately is has only been approved as an investigational device in the United States.
But if this is a good solution, we can only hope that Linx™ soon will be approved there as well.
I look forward to follow The Linx™ and to see what this will do to relive the world of Acid reflux.

4 Yes..

Today I got the news that there isn't any more cell changes .....
Yabadaba doooo... I am very happy... Finally some good news...
So today I am going to enjoy the feeling that things can go my way..

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

0 The Internett..

The internett is a breakthrough in how we communicate with each other. We can buy absolutely everything including drugs. The good thing is that if you are a little shy, or live far from a city you can steel get everything. We read the paper, books, facebook, manuals, twitter,gossip, e-mails and of course blogs.
When I grew up I used to write my inner thoughts in a diary. My place where I could be honest with myself.
Nothing is secret anymore. We share every thought. Well every happy thought.
And with this happy thoughts we must pretend that life always is beautiful, full of love, and that you're partner and children is perfect. Depression, health problems and a normal ups and downs life has become taboo.

Is that what our time has come to? Have we become so shallow, that we need to lie in order to build self esteem? Our home walls have become as high as skyscrapers.
I am no better. My problem is that I have become honest in my blog. But in my everyday life, my line is: " I 'm fine".
And I am not fine, at all, but i hope that I will be someday. And I hope my children will be perfect little devious monsters that I will love with all my heart.
And that my boyfriend will never ask me to marry him, and that I will always regret that we didn't get hitch in Vegas for the price of $39.99, when we had the chance.
But life is just to short for regrets, we can always print out a poster of Vegas and get married in front of that. Someday..

2 When Life Becomes a Sea of Pain

I wanted to leave you with this poem on how it is to be sick. I think everyone who has been sick can relate to this Poem:

When life becomes a sea of pain
And every moment agony
I must endure again, again,
It is a curse to have to be.

And every moment agony,
And every longing fixed on death;
It is a curse to have to be
And fight by instinct for each breath.

And every longing fixed on death
Even as I must go on
And fight by instinct for each breath,
Sailing thus, though loved, alone.

Even as I must go on,
You watch me helpless from the shore;
Sailing thus, though loved, alone,
I need you with me all the more.

You watch me helpless from the shore
As I endure again, again;
I need you with me all the more
When life becomes a sea of pain.

Poem by: Nicholas Gordon
Painting by: Josephine wall

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

4 When I get some strength back

When I get a little better, which I hoped was yesterday, I am going to go watch 127 hours.
I like the idea of what a person can do in order to survive. How far would you go? How much would you fight to live? Why don't everybody fight?
I guess mans greatest questions aren't gonna get answered tonight... Enjoy the trailer :)

0 Sleepless night.. Sleepless day..

After yet another sleepless night, I through my ass in the shower...
I needed to run some errands in the city... I do like to look presentable even though I probably looked like shit anyway... well, well..
But while I was waiting for the train home, I met one of my friends...
So we grabbed a coffee together.. I talked about everything and absolutely nothing..
All and all.. A nice afternoon... But ohoh soo soo tired.... yawn.... another yawn....

Monday, February 14, 2011

0 Norwegian Winter Wonder Land...

I would like to share with you, what I love the most about Norway:

The Norwegian winter. Its nothing like sitting inside in front of the fire with hot cocoa, and watch while its snowing outside. Or do this after a long day of cross country skiing..
And since you don't get wet like rain I do prefer the snow. I miss being out in the snow..

0 Today

Today is a new day,new week, new opportunities, new possibility's....
And what do I do? Spend it on the couch. My couch-my friend.
Todays food count: 212 kcal, (14 g of proteins) and a glass of water.

I know, who would think that diet food can be used for maintain you're weight? 
But when its hard to eat, this melts on the tung, and besides, I think the shakes tastes horrible! 

Sunday, February 13, 2011

2 Did it again...

I have been using my Sunday with improving the esophageal spasms site. And finally, it looked really good. And then poof.. Again. everything was gone. But know everything is going into word before out on the blog.
I have finally learned my lesson... buuuuuhuuuu...

0 Sleeping my day away.

This is what is hard with having esophagus spasms. The evening and nights are much worse then the morning/day. So what do you do when you have been up all night?
You fall a sleep in the morning, and sleep all day. But how do I change that? I cant live without sleep. And some days I haven't slept for 36 hours.

2 My Dream..

I have written before what my dreams in life were, and it still remains the same.
The only problem is that I feel that my life is passing bye me in still frame. frame bye frame.
And I cant stop it. I want children, but how?
I wanna work, and get my degree, but how?
How do you fight for the things you want, when you someday have problems with getting to the bathroom twice?

Painting by: Josephine Wall

Saturday, February 12, 2011

4 I wanna go faster..

I am a little upset after the visit to my doctor on Thursday.
I know that I am going to two things over the next few months, but for me, its to slow.
I was hoping that more would happen, and that they would start to search the government for the drugs in the US. And the hypnoses he talked about.
I don't want to feel sick anymore, I don't have the time. I wanna live my life, and not to sit in the waiting room anymore.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

6 Transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation

Today I was at the hospital again, and not much is changing. I am going to continue with my medicines.
And I am going to go to pain school, and to a physical therapist that is going to see if  Transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation can have some effect on my pain.

I have tried this before, but I guess everything is worth trying twice.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

0 OMG....

I have used like 6 hours to try and improve the: this is esophagus spasms, and I was finished.
Poof and then the hole text was gone. I guess that means I have to start over again.
That is me in a nut shell.

0 Drugs in different shapes, but still the same

I may seem liberal when it comes to drugs and prescription, but I do think that we should go to a doctor to get prescriptions.
I am actually worried that you know can buy Drugs like Voltarol, same as Voltaren (Diclofenac) without a prescription at the pharmacy. Voltarol should only be used for for three days, it says so in the leaflet, but I highly doubt that most people do that.
And I think that the doctors do prescribes Voltaren to much, and for too long.
A couple of years ago, my doctor was sick so she had a substitute doctor, and he actually wanted me to go back on Voltaren because he meant that it was a drug without big side effects.
But is there a drug without side effects out there? You should only take medication if the positive things about using it overcomes the side effects.

But what do really blow my mind away was this e-mail my boyfriend got today. He could buy Codeine 30 mg × 30 Qty for $ 199.00.
But that was not all, they also sell drugs like Xanac, Valium, Adipex, Klonopin, Ambien, Meridia, Imovane, Restoril Codeine, Ultram and Tramadol without prescription.
I know that this is probably a Spam e-mail, but that is not the matter.
What matters is that you do have to check what kind of products you can take home from vacation, and what products you can order.

There was this older women in Norway who orders some DHEA online. She normally got it from her doctor, but because she was ordering glucosamine , she though she would buy DHEA cheap online. But you have to get this on prescription in Norway.
Most of the product at Drugstore.com is probably safe, but you should always be sure. Its not fun getting the police on you're door because you have bought something illegal.

I do think that there should always be a doctor between the patient and medication. Then you know that the different medication is safe to use together, and if you're health is not improving then they can send you to a specialist, or to the hospital.
I am not saying that doctors are perfect, because they are not, but it is a little safer that way. I know I feel safer that I have health care personnel around me.
I know that my doctor has become much stricter with writing out Voltaren. She is also beating herself up because she advised me to have the Nissen Fundoplication. She has also had that surgery, and she also had some big problems afterwards. But she thought it was only her that could get so sick after the surgery.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

3 Lyrica®

I wanted to share a little of my experience with Lyrica, witch is used for treating neuropathic pain and a anticonvulsant drug . The active substance in Lyrica is Pregabalin.
In my place they hope that it will take the esophagus spasms.

The first two weeks I felt like I was sober trapped in a insanely drunk body. When I was talking nice and understandably in my head, but outside, to the rest of the world, I think they though that the hospital was giving me heroin or something. And I couldn't have walked on a strait line to save my life! My mom actually had to pick up my old winter shoes, because I couldn't manage to walk with a little heel. And for those of you that don't know me, I am the queen of heels..

But once I got through those first weeks, It was a little smoother sailing. But it took about 3 weeks before the big side effects wore of. I guess Lyrica is like a lot drugs against depression. The side effects comes first and the effect first after a couple of weeks.
I am not sure how effective they are, but if I didn't take them any more, maybe I would have felt it then.
I had the same thought about Neurontin last year, but when I stopped taking them for 2 weeks, my lung scar and  the inside of my chest started to really hurt.

So of you and you're doctor decides that Lyrica is the drug for you, clear the schedule for 2 weeks, because its gonna feel like a long binge drinking trip!

Monday, February 7, 2011

4 A little to late

I am siting on the couch, very tired after a long and artistic Sunday.
So what do I say about this day? It was a day where I was able to sort out a lot of things, papers, recites, and bills. But I has to be done even if you are sick.
I think I will just leave you guys with this picture of my new tea box :

And have a good week everyone :)

Saturday, February 5, 2011

7 Today....

Today, I am having one of those days that you will have when you are sick. Guilt.
One of my best friends is having her 30 year old birthday party, and I had to cancel.
I am so sick of always being sick. And I want so badly to be there for everyone, but I cant seem to even be there for myself. Because I am walking around with this bad feeling, over what?  Because my health isn't good ? Is that my fault? I do seem to have it in for myself, always beating myself up for not having better health! Always saying that I am sorry that I cant be there. Telling people that I really wanted to.
Does it care if I wanted to? If my body wont go, I am not going......

Thursday, February 3, 2011

2 .......

I am not in the best shape after yesterday, but hopefully after a couple of days more on the couch and I will be there. My skin is really red and dry, so for all of you out there: anesthesia is not good for the skin.

On to happier news; I am going back to school this semester. I am really happy about that. But first comes first.
I need to rest some more after the surgery. I will give you more updates over the next couple of days.
hugs to all

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

2 After the procedure

I just want to thank all good thoughts on behalf of Alexandra. The procedure went good even though it was postponed for almost 6 hours. She is pretty tired now and have a lot of pain (also) as a result of the procedure today. So with a little rest will make her able to write for herself what has happened...