0 Big Change..

Since the time I first got sick, I thought it would pass, I was sure of it. I still think that I will get better, or find a treatment that will help me.
Until then, we have to make our life as easy as possible. And comfortable.
So we have swapped our living room with our old office. And we have made half of the office into a dinning room.
We have also bought a new couch, but we have to wait 3 weeks (Can hardly wait 3 days)
We have sold some stuff that we didn't need, used, had room for etc.. We have also sorted through our stuff and thrown away what we don't use, or need anymore..I cant hope that my life will go back to the way it were..

I have been looking back for 2 years. Its time to look forward. I am not saying its going to be easy, and I will not give up. But I cant live in what should have been.
I am probably still going to cry, be mad, curse and scream in pain, but with a little help from cognitive therapy and psychiatries maybe I can start to see a future???
At least I hope I will have a future.. that is filled with more than anger and pain..
Pictures will come soon :)

0 Sick sick.. stomach bug sick...

Its not easy being sick, and every time you try to throw up you jump start esophagus spasms, for I cant still throw up, and the bacteria has to come out somehow.
I never thought that not throwing up would have been a bad thing, but oh boy was i wrong.. You are sick twice as long when it has to go the natural way out, and you still feel like you need to throw up every second of every hour.

When you finally hope that things cool down you cant take ketogan because you are on the toilet 4 times an hour.
As if that wasn't enough, when I am on the toilet I get this disgusting smell, just like the oliclinomel smell when I was hospitalized..The smell is so horrible that a healthy person would starts to gag. So much for a nice weekend..
I had to go to the emergency room last night since I was in so much pain, and I could keep anything in/out..
So they increased my pain patch Durogesic, and that helpt after some hours..
The only positive thing was that from I drove from home until I was back it had only taken an hour. Usually the emergency room in Norway is fast when it takes 6 hours, but I think the weather had something to do with it!!
I am signing out, and giving you some good, news next week.. I have finally figured something out :)

1 2 Years, 2 months, 5 days and 1 hour.........

Its been 2 Years, 2 months, 5 days and 1 hour since I was rolled into Surgery!.
Everything has changed around me, The only thing that has stayed the same is me.
I am still the girl I used to be, I laugh at the same thing, I get sad but don't show it. I love clothes and reading, but cant do what I love.. But I still love it and dream of the day that those things will be a big part in my life again.
I have always loved movies and tv shows, and I still do. I have even seen shows I didn't think I would like..But I did!
What I miss most is traveling. we loved to travel to new places several times a year.

1 Happy new year... Why not Goodbye shitty 2011??

Why do we always hope that the new year will bring more love, money, happiness, children, job opportunities, traveling, better health etc??
Why do we only hope once a year???
How about doing it every Sunday? Next week, I am going to find my dream job. I am going to stalk my doctor until he helps me. I am going on 7 blind dates,