2 I hate doctors and byrocracy

My road is collapsing, and instead of rebuilding, the water carries it away, and I feel helpless on the sideline with no way of fixing it.
The doctor who operated me, he was the one to say how much my medical disability is. and he says 50%..
I am in complete shock.
How can the doctor who ruined my life be given the job to say how sick I am. he knows nothing of my problems today.
The specialists at Country University Hospital says that I am 100% disabled.
That can actually means that I might have to work 3 days a week. how can I do that when I don't know when that 1 good day is..
I have contacted my lawyer because I am not giving up.. As I said to my family doctor, I have tried go go to school the last two years, it doesn't work, its not like I am trowing in the towel after two months. And I dream of having a life again, but as it is now, I have non.
And the doctor who operated me said that there isn't any good treatment yet, so how can he think that I can work just like that. They meant many with my pain are 100% in work, but no way I belive that. I know a few that uses less painkillers than me, and they are a 100% disabled.
I am not saying that the medicine determine how much you can live, but we are all different. how many deceases do I have to have before they belive me??
Do I really have to work so far over my capability and become hospitalized for 2 months so they can see that I am still in a lot of pain??
And since I never know when I get a spasms, I cant really have a consistence work schedule. and if I cant finish school at 50%, how am I suppose to work??

When you go to the doctor I take painkillers so that I can talk and say what is needed to say, but maybe I need to crawl into the appointment so that they can see how "good" I am doing.
I am tired of this constant fight to get what I need..... Why cant I have one good thing to hold on to for more that 2 months? and then its back to hell.... one way to start the week....