Monday, March 5, 2012

2 To much at once

This few weeks have been so hard. my grandmother was hasted into surgery, because they found a tumor in hel colon. it was so big that she couldn't go to the toilet. but she is the most strong fears little woman I have ever met. And she has so much empathy for other. When I visited her at the hospital she was more worried about me.
I got to talk to her before the surgery because we didn't now how it would go, but she was comforting me. I cried the entire time. As I have said before, I have never really lost someone in my closest family, and now I am coming to the understanding that I will loose some of the people I love, and I cant deal.. I feel my emotions is in crisis,fog mode. I am here, but nor really...
Tomorrow we get the news if her cancer has spread to other organs, so my pulse is through the roof.. I love this sweet hard headed woman so much..


  1. Hello. Nice blog, what are you going to do?

  2. thanks so much..
    I am going to support her no matter what she does. If she wants to fight, then I am going to let her, and if she wants to live her last months on earth without treatment I will respect that to. She has led a hard and long life, longer than many others, but she could still have many good years ahead. But it all comes down to if her body can handle the treatment at all. she has been transfered to a cancer hospital, and they will give us theire thoughts and plans in a few weeks. until then, all we can do is visit, and hope she isn't in pain..