0 Not getting help can actually damage youre recovery... Forever

Today I finally got an appointment to see a pulmonary specialist, and took a loot of test..
He was outrage bye the way my health has been handled, he said the doctors involved should get a reprimand because this was unacceptable.
I had to agree with him, but still, the first doctor who said: you must hate doctors... I don't hate them, I just don't trust them.

He also said that they should have done all this test early to see how my lungs were damage so that they could have done something about it, but because it has been 2 years, its like the part of the damage lung has "shut" down.
He said he wanted a CT x ray of my lungs, and help me as much as they can,and that i should probably start acknowledging that this is permanent.

And last my lung function is only 64% left.. He said my lung capacity is that of an 70 year old..
Its sound right because I can't go up my stairs without loosing my breath, and I live on the second floor.
This hasn't hit me yet, and its going to be a big one to swallow, but bad answers are better than living in the unknown.

What made my day though was that this doctor didn't judge me, he understood, he was mad for me, and that's a new experience.
He said that even if my esophagus spasms would go away that I most likely would need Durogesic pain path anyway, because the pain I feel in my lung is over average and normally when you have been through such a large surgery, and the massive infection I had...

I guess my body will never be the body I was used to.. But knowing my limitations can give me the means to find things I can do and build my confidence and life on a new foundation. Yes I have been handed a crappy card, but so has a lot of other people..
I hope in the future we can be more honest, and not feel like a looser because we can't do what we want, but find a path that happiness is on, instead of focusing on all the bad things..
I can really hear that I have started in therapy already :)