0 Be me

I used to be this happy cheerful person. If you called me during the halftime, you wouldn't get to see the second half, because I talked to much.
A friend of my once said that if you brought a lot of people together that didn't know each other, I would break the ice within seconds.
I worked 75% and still finished high school with good grades. If one of my friends was in trouble, or a hard breakup, I would always be there within 30 min.
I would even drink on a Tuesday, if that was needed so my friend could have one crazy night. before figure out what they needed to do with their life.
I was the nice, cute crazy friend. never the sexy exploratory friend. And I was okay with that, because I was me, or at least if was trying to find the true me, and I found her after a few years of partying, moving over seas, breakups,and finding good friends.
My teens, and my young adult life gave me the confidence to be the true me, and I was following my dreams.

And now I don't know what I can be, and I feel the girl I was so proud of being is slipping away. And I am scared
Life is short, and as everyone else I don't want to look back and have any regrets
So how do I that when I have so many chronicle illnesses ??