2 Happy holidays

I hope everyone have had a nice holiday, and celebrated with the ones that you love.
I got the best Christmas gift when I got the letter from the patient injury compensation, from with I was successful in my case against the hospital...
I have felt like David Vs. Goliath for 2 years now. And finally, I got some good news.
I hva e had terrible luck all my life, and finally when I am handed some more, it iis the hospitals faults, so they have to pay for it.
This quote tells it how  I have felt:
“People Cry, Not Because They're Weak. It's Because They've Been Strong For Too Long.”

I wish everyone still a happy holiday, and remember,, Life's short, make the best of it, while you can

2 Finally A Victory worth Celebrating...

I have been crying for half an hour now, Its the first time in a couple of years that I have cried happy tears!
The verdict is in.. The Norwegian patient injury compensation has come to the conclusion that I am entitled to compensation and that the hospitals are responsible for my current state..
I will get money for lost income over the last 2 years, and for what I will loose in future incomes.
They will pay for medicine, physiotherapy, doctors, and transportation.
If I get a permanent medical disability of at least 15%, then I will be compensated for the loss of "social life" and the exclusion from society because of the treatment injury.
They will also pay fro my lawyer so that I can get help with this. I will probably not understand half of this and a lawyer will help me get  a fair compensation.
But It would probably take a while before we reach the finish line.

I always new I had a strong case, but still, you always wonder, and I feel like the world has been lifted of my shoulders. I don't have to worry about the future anymore. I know that I at least don't have to be up all night worrying about the future. I will never get my life the way it was, but this will help me get a normal as possible life.
This was really the greatest CHRISTMAS GIFT I have ever gotten. What if I hadn't won the case? Then 2011 would have been my worst year.
I am still in shock, I still cant belive that I was right. It wasn't my fault. And now I know that we patients can win against a system that favors doctors over patients....
And thanks to you out there who have supported me, and listened to my pain, anger and now relief. It has meant the world to me.
Hopefully we will begin a new adventure in 2012, and see if I cant get the help that I now know I am entitled to!

0 Dear Santa.....

What do I want for Christmas??
Health care for everyone, everywhere!
Health isn't just for the rich, or the privileged. It should be what we all get.. The right to live the best possible way!

Dear Santa. For me Christmas has always been about being together, and putting our differences aside.
A time where our differences are put in a positive light. we're all humans and we all need  good times in our lives. Christmas represents to me
It doesn't matter what religion you have, Why cant a Buddhist, Muslim and a Christian sit at the same table the 24 December and share a good meal together??
Humans are pack animals, we would never survive alone. we need other around us.
Instead we are killing each other in the name of religion, power, money and hatred for one another, its the fear of the unknown, that drives us. we need to educate our self so that we can understand why other people do thing differently from oneself.
I think it should be mandatory to live in another culture than you're own for a year.
The only way we can tear down the walls, is to see each others as humans, not for what they look like or where they are from..
We need compassion, understanding and empathy, that the only way we will be able to stop the killing.
Thats my message for this Christmas. smile to every person that looks at you, show compassion to others that are struggling.
We need to empathies the war out of this planet!

4 Pain Clinic.

I have now been at the pain clinic at the University Hospital.
They always talk big words, but i wonder if they will do anything.
They are more interested in being a good coworker than putting the patients first.
They said they now would like me to try cognitive therapy, and hypnosis, and would call my psychiatric nurse, but they haven't. I would be surprised if they had.
Second they said my family doctor should sent me on a second opinion to Haukeland hospital in Bergen.
But again, my family doctor hasn't gotten the summary, or gotten a hold of the doctor, so then she does nothing!
Third, my family doctor wants the pain clinic to assign every aspects of my treatment from them,But they don't see why they should, they think my doctor

3 Flu sick...

I have been out of business for the last couple of weeks. I have been blessed with the Egyptian flu.
Not fun. Fever for 2 weeks, and trowing up yellow and green mucus is not a good way to go into the Christmas time.
As i have said before i Love the pre Christmas time, and hate that I cant enjoy it fully.

If that was not enough, rikshospitalet canceled my last appointment (what is new?), so I am first going there next week.
Hopefully this will get them to really do something about my situation. I am not giving in until every rock has been turned.
On the other hand, my new doctor is a big train who wont take any bull from anyone, and I like that. its good that someone is there to help me and understand why I get so frustrated..

0 When did the patients become the bad guy???

How is it that when I as an patient makes the doctors accountable for what they have done, and I come out of it as the bad guy?
We who don't take no for an answer are seen as difficult patients. When did it come to this? that the patient is being hang out to dry, why the doctors can focus on their carriers and promotions?
And us who want a dignified life is seen as problem rather that seeing us as champions who are fighting the fight of our life to get a "normal" life as possible?.



When did the health care system goes from putting the patient in the high seat to being suer rats with no rights, and doctors can play goods, and taking the cases that will further their career rather then helping a sick, scared patient? As a patient we can be demanding, unreasonable, self centered etc, but we are not the professionals. and facing a illness can make the best of us do unreasonable things. Its not easy being trapped in a broken body.
But the professionals should know this and try to motivate, than making us feel bad for being sick, like its our fault..

Why do we have a health care system if its just to further careers than healing patients, or making their life bearable??

2 What about the 999.999 of us???

Why do we discriminate in the 21 century??
If you are over 35 you won't  get a breast reconstruction from you're own tissue, and if you do get around that age you have to wait for 7 years?? Or pay a hundred grand  from you're own pocket.
And what about all those volunteers from Utøya who doesn't get any help? They risk their life with no other reward than jeopardizing their own life. The least the Norwegian government can take care of them??
Is health care only for the rick people? I thought we all regardless of finances deserved to get the best medical help available..

But no matte how you became ill, it is just as devastating to that person. You're life gets torn upside down, and its no more fun that it comes from you're body, malpractice, or external components.
But we all deserve the best treatment, but some are just lucky if they get treated at all.

The other thing. we need more stories of people who are struggling, and who has the guts to say that it is bloody hard, and I want to give up. Not all of those sunshine stories. They don't help, I feel more depressed after reading suck a story. I feel like a completely failure.I spineless woman. Why cant I fight like this? Why cant I find a ancient remedy that no one has thought of, and have the world strongest psyche??If you are sick, you need someone to tell you, you are not alone, it is normal to be depressed, not come to terms with you're condition after 2 months, and not to do everything you just to do. Its not always in the mind.
Not all of us, can just get up after a trauma. and we need proper guidance, not sunshine stories that happens to one in a million. what about the rest 999.999 of us?

0 2 years and counting

Now it has been two years since I made the mistake of trusting doctors with a surgery that couldn't go wrong.
The nissen fundoplication was suppose to be a routine procedure with the highest risk was not being able to eat for a week.
Two years after, I think, was the reflux my hell or the esophagus spasms?
People always thinks what they are dealing with in the present is the hardest, and most painful one.
But if I would have one week of each disease, I don't know with one I would rather have..
The sick joke of life is that we always want want we cant get, and get what we don't want..
So is that was life is about, gods Sadomasochist ways of torturing us, with our vulnerable side??

I hope that others out there don't have to go through what I have too, I don't wish that on my greatest enemy, not that I have one, but no one deserve to be tortured with pain everyday. It changes you, and not for the better. You become more cynical, less understanding, and more self absorbed.
I wish I could say that I didn't, but when you have been through hell and back again, you don't understand the samll tings anymore. the little fights means nothing, and small problems seems a ways of time.
Hopefully it is just a temporary side effect of being sick. I miss the girl that cared more about others that herself, the girl that would drop everything if a friend was in pain, and the girl that laugh at least 10 times a day, sometimes I could laugh for hours...

2 Is illness only there so that others can feel blessed??

How do you hold on too the person you are when you sickness consumes you? How do you lead a normal life in all the chaos??
I have given this some thought because I feel like Alex is fading and all that is left behind is a empty shell of the person I was suppose to be..
I read all this sunshine stories of people with disabilities and illnesses, but still conquer the world work full time, raise a family, and still have strength to run a marathon..

I wish I could have read about a person that were honest, and said that things aren't as easy as we are told by the media.. It should be more like, everyday is a struggle, it sucks big time, and all I want is to rip my body to pieces and get a new one.. I am trapped in my sick, decaying body.. I want a new one.
We only get one life, why do I have to be the poster boy for how not to handle a disease?? I don't want everyone to think I am okay, cause I am not. Why couldn't I get the good body and my dreams fulfilled?? All I can see is everyone else leading perfect happy life's while I am stuck, but with the best boyfriend in the world... So ha world you cant have him to....

6 Mondays should be about hope, and the future

I always loved Mondays. A new week, new possibilities, new friends to make, and coworkers to laugh with.
No its is just the start of another bad week, with no glimmer of sun rising up from the horizon. No coworkers, and friends are not something I have the strength, or health to see every day. Maybe one a week.. So it is eight. sickness causes isolation, and isolation causes depressions, with make you isolate yourself..
How do you get put of that circle when you are still sick?? nothing to fight for other that fighting the illness itself??

0 The new psychiatric nurse

The new nurse were here yesterday, and as a creature that likes routines, I was a little sceptical, but as I said to my boyfriend; I will give her a fair shot, and sometimes change is good..
She was actually very sweet and asked a lot of honest questions.
She said she was a strait forward girl, and that that sometimes can be seen as harsh.
I said I didn't mind as long as she could deal with me being honest back, and not sugarcoat it.
Everyone works differently, and maybe everyone will get the same outcome in the end, but just in different ways.

so hopefully this will lead to a positive change for once, or maybe it will be hell, time will tell... good weekend to everyone :)

0 Change Again.....

This last month has been one disappointing after another. And now my Psychiatric nurse is leaving her job.
It cant be easy when you end up as the patients you are helping, so I hope for her sake that she will find peace, better health, and a job that doesn't drain the life out of her.
But I am a little scared of the new nurse. I felt I was at a job interview. She was very tough. But I will give her a fair chance. she deserves that. But I will miss Ellen. I don't think I would have survived the last year without her.
She has given me perspective, help with my rights, someone who listens and sometimes talk about absolutely
nothing when I felt I had nothing to give.  But New week, new opportunities..

0 Everything will be OK ......

Everything will be OK in the end. If it`s not OK, it`s not the end... (Unknown)

Holding on to the tiniest hope I can :)

3 Will my life matter???

I used to be a volunteer with the red cross., and I loved it. In Norway we are used to that the government are suppose to take care of the sick and those who cant take care of them selfs.
We don't have the same outlook on charity as American, or thousands of charities such as habitat for humanity,food banks, Animal and Education Charities to name a few.
But why do we do it. everyone including myself says that I do it because I want to make a difference, I want to know that I saved a person. My life mattered. I wont be remembered in a thousand years, but my actions will be a echo through times because featuring generations will grow up because I saved others..

But in all this I think I do this to help myself. I get a kick out of helping others, and I don't have to pay for it. And the hangover is as sweet as the first ice cream you got when the summer came.
I get to feel that I, and my life mattered for the brief moment I was on this earth.
I hope our society will get back to what it was before. living together, talking and befriend the neighbor, keep the streets safe, and borrow a cup of sugar from you're neighbor .
I hope we will start to connect again to other people through the living plane, and not only through computers and technology.
Humans are pack animals, its time we start to go back to that, otherwise, how are we going to save this planet we are poisoning ????

0 when does it stop??

I wonder, when is enough enough?? Do you have to get to hell before you can come to heaven? Or is life hell, and we are all trying to be angels in a world torn apart by war, hunger and decease?
I thought that I soon would see green meadows again, laugh until I wet myself, see the beauty in the world and people the way I used to.

But my pain never comes alone. 2 weeks ago my world felt into darkness when I was told they wouldn't do the botox.
Now I am told that the irregular cell division in my uterus is back. so much for closing that chapter. So now I have to take a new biopsy. I am afraid that the only way to get this under control is to do a hysterectomy.
This is not a good way to start a weekend after a horrible couple of weeks. when will it end?? When will my suffering end?

0 Who am I going to be???

Today was suppose to be the first day of the rest of my life.
Instead its a day that reminds me what I have lost, what my future will not hold.
No hope that tomorrow will bring happiness, possibilities, strength to fulfill  my dreams.
My goals in life was always about helping others, my dream was to help people reach their potential.
Why else become a teacher, volunteering as a homework helper with the red cross??

2 Hope is not in my heart right now..

This weekend have been one of the worst ones in my life... I felt like the walls of my life came crumbling down around me, and all I wanted was to shake someone till they started to listen.
Today I was at my family doctor and she couldn't understand that they could just say no after they had promised and booked the appointment...
So she is going to contact them and get some answers, she understood that a doctor could be afraid of something going wrong, but not that he could block everyone else from helping me..
And he has written in my journal that he is more concerned with the drugs than the esophagus spasms, so then it should be a no brainer giving me a new botox.
I will never get doctors... are there there to help you, or to further their career?? Are they good Samaritans by heart, or the status that being a doctor gives them?
The only thing they all hate is drugs, if drugs were taking out of the equation, doctors would be more pleasant to talk to.. I always thought drugs were a means to an end, to give patients quality of life. but I have never heard that line, only reduction or discontinuation. Quality??? Thats a world that will never fit into the line of helping sick humans, its all about, money, status and to push the limits of what is possible, at the expense of the patient..

8 Its over... I lost the war

From this day forward I will be known for the girl who lost it all.
They called me today from the hospital and told me that they wont do the botox injection after all.
My doctor is going on sabbatical, and my "new" old doctor don't want to do it.
so then they wont do it.
How can they call someone up over the phone and tell them that their life is over????
Has it come down to this that one doctor can seal the faith over a person.
Hey you, the rest of you're life is going to be a living hell, but we will right a memo so that they can see that no of the regular treatment for esophagus spasms will help you, (we are to scared that if we touch you and something goes wrong like an operation that you will sue us)..
Are doctors turning into politician? play dirty and if one young girl gets fried.. it worth it as long a s a snake of a doctor can keep sitting in the chief seat, thats way more important than actually helping the patient....
Go F%&ck your selfs.......

2 My Future

My dream for the future is to yet again see the future, and dream of the future.
Not to look back at all the hard past that has been my life until now..
Life should be a ocean of possibilities, but all I see is sinking boat, with no means to escape.
All I can do is fight as hard as I can until I have no strength left, an maybe I can see a shoreline in the distance... The future is in front of me, I pray I have it in me to get there!

0 I want to function down under

I was so happy in may when I finally got my period.
But since then It has been very quite down under.. But there is nothing wrong with my hormones, ovaries, uterus...
So then the question is? is it because I am stressed? poor general health? wrong diet? no exercise? gain weight, lost weight?
Or have I simply reached  menopause at the age of 30?

When it comes to the human body,

2 Catapresan®

Catapresan is suppose to be really good against withdrawal pain, and making reduction more manageable.
What they didn't tell is that this was used in the 50 s as a miracle drug against high blood pressure, but because of all the side effects they stopped using it.
In the 90s they saw that is could be used when coming of a narcotic drug..
I have been of it for 3 months and already I can feel that my dizziness, and feeling like I am going to faint has almost disappeared.
I know we belive in our doctors and that they want what is best for us, but sometimes I feel like they are withholding vital information about treatment, side effects and prognoses for a diagnoses

2 happy fairy to the Norwegian female Thor!

Yesterday, I was so fortunate that I found a doctor that sees my problem as a physiological, and not emotional.
I have no problem with it being a mental issue, what I resented is that they did so with no examination to back up their theory, with it being a mental one.
But thats not what todays story is all about.
No my story today has to do with my doctor sending me to a regional hospital for treatment of my esophagus spasms, but I am not even in the pool of those who need treatment within a giving date, however I could expect to be treated before June 2012!

How sick is that? If I don't need quick treatment, then who does?? Does it really come down to how good requisition you're doctor writes? Or if you know the right people?This is messed up. We should have a system where all health care professionals could get into our medical journal so they can see who really needs it, and not how much you're doctor exaggerate and makes a few embellishing remarks. Then they could get a clear picture of the medical problem and history!

I am mad, so mad that I think I am starting to grow horns out of my forehead. I am sick of those who shout out the loudest get treated first. I hate myself for beginning to manipulate doctors, because thats the only way too get help. Why cant we trust in the fact that no one wants to be sick, exception MBPS, self harming, etc, but this are also illnesses, and I don't think they want to be sick anymore then the rest.
Either you are sick, or you aren't, thats how easy it should be. and it should never be about doubting the patient, trust me we doubt our-selfs all the time, why do you doctors think that so many of us are on anti-depressants??

2 0-1 for ME

If I have ever said there there are more people in the health care system who cares more about power, money, basically their own career more then the patients..
I have to many times told them that what I really mean of them, and if I don't like you, you would now it. But thats a part of being sick, you're filter is gone, you have become this essence in a shall that is filled with "cancerous" cells..

0 Finally a break

Today I had two uplifting things happening to me. First I had a friend come visiting, and the hours flew by. And it was mice to talk about other things then just illness, and dreadful memories. However it was an uplifting visit, and I felt so much better afterwards..


The other good news was that I am taking a new manometry on Monday.. The Norwegian health care system is known for dragging things out. I sent in an application to this other hospital in march and I have still not heard anything, but this shows that they can if they want to. So one and a half week after my appointment with the pain clinic, and I will have my first manometry in over  a year..
I am rely existed, petrified, and a little angry that I have fought  this for 10 months..
All I can say to the Norwegian health care system, get a grip, take responsibility when you screw up.

Us patients we now that doctors are human to, but they have to come down from that high horse and apologizes. Most of us would forgive and be glad that they stood for the mistake that they had made..
So happy weekend to u all :) :9 I had a great start to mine :):)

2 Lyrica® Part Two

I have been under the impression that Lyrica is some sort of wonder drug.. and it has helpt with the pain from my lung surgery scar and pain from inside the chest.. But so did Neurontin, but it only cost 50  dollars, while Lyrica cost 200..
And then there are the side effects... Memory lost, memory is history, cant remember what I did, ate, or showered yesterday.. I do remember 2 years ago, but not when I last saw a friend or family.
You can get really lonely or live in blissfully ignorance, I hope for the second door, But I beat myself up for everything and nothing. Neurontin doesn't have all this side effect, but it still works on nerve damage.

Is this worth it? maybe Neurontin is the best choice, that way I can remember my history, get back to school, and get a small part of my life back.. what do you think??? Lyrica or Neurontin

2 Lucky after 30????

 

Have you ever felt like you were destined to be clumsy,unfortunate, almost as if you were under the spell?
I have felt like that my entire life, if something happens it is to me. someone has stolen my credit card twice. I have had burglars in my condo on holiday, and all that he stole was 100 bucks, my phone, my purse(that I latter got back) and half a kit kat.. jum jum.

0 Esophagus spasms speaks Alex language

I have been to my doctor today (pain clinic), and I am confused... The last 4 months have been about me taking morphine based supplements, and nothing about my real problem.
We did write a angry but fair letter last week, were we stated what we think needs to be done. My last gastro doctor has written to things in my medical journal that he did not want to treat me and said that my treatment was completed.. I thought what the f&/%k??? How can they say that? my spasms are just as real now as they were 12 months ago, or 24 for that matter.

0 Moroccanoil

Last time as was with my hairstylist she gave me a sample of this amazing oil for the hair. Now it don't look frizzy and dead anymore. And the best of it is that I don't need hairspray and other products in my hair. this hold the style all day long, and it looks like my hair is perfect without products.

2 Help me live...

Tomorrow is my first day at school, and my first day after changing major.. I am so scared that i wont finish it, and come out on the other side alive and still have a spark in my eyes. I don't want to loose myself, and I feel I will do that if I don't finish my degree.
So if anyone out there reads this, send me you're love, you're courage, hope dreams, I will even accept a prayer if thats what it will take for me to keep living the life i dream of, the life i hope for, the life I fear will take me... please help me..

0 Memory video 22/7 attacks on our small but wonderful country (Its the people in this country that makes it great)

This is am amazing video in memory of all those who lost their life, someone they loved, or survived the massacre 22/7--11.. My hearth goes out too all of you, and 2 weeks doesn't make this go away. Life goes on, but it has changes us all forever!


Finse - 'Norges Symbol' (Finse - 'The Symbol of Norway') from Greg T @ Lanor Productions on Vimeo.

0 Faith???

What do we mean when we say : "to have faith?"
Is it to believe in something bigger than us selfs? Or is it to belive in our selfs?
We say that we cant proof that there is a God, Allah, Nirvana,Valhalla or any of the big religions? but those who say they can heal, talk talk to the dead they are frauds.
I am someone who has almost been to the other side, but I cant say that I saw a light, tunnel or deceased loved ones. All I saw was nothing, but it wasn't scary nothing, it was tranquility, peace for eternity..
I did read some wear that there was a study in this phenomenon, and those who saw a light had a slighter increased carbon dioxide in their blood.. There will always be those who will say that this was a proof of life after death.. But thats all that this is about.. Having faith!

0 LOVE

I have always thought of myself as a loving, good hearted, caring and forgiving. But don't we all?
Who thinks that they are mad, evil, manipulating person??

2 How am I going to live??

Why is it that when you are sick, you always have to prove that you are sick?
Why don't the doctors belive us when we say that something is wrong?
Who wants to be sick by choice? I have never met anyone who thinks that spending their life in pain in bed is a good life...
Isn't that what we all want?

0 Hold on

"When you're by yourself
And there's noone else
You just tell yourself to hold on
Hold on world, world hold on
It's gonna be alright"
(John Lennon)

0 MY Oslo, My Norway

Today I was is Oslo to look at my city. I also wanted to pay my respect to those 77 people who died, the 100 that got hurt, and all those who lost a spouse, friend, child, sister, mother brother, cousin, grandparents and grandkids.
I feel with everyone who has been affected after this horrible terrorist act and massacre of young kids.
This is my rose as a respect, an empathy to those who are left behind:

This is the enormous mountain of flowers, Flags, and candles. They have had to close down a street. But this craziness gets you to realize how tragic this massacre was!

This Tree headed statue symbolizes for me the man that did this terrible attacks. He is a "normal", "Insane", "nonchalant" attitude afterwards. I hope no one will ever want to hear his version, and that he will be in a isolated cell for the rest of his life.

 One thing is clear, our little nation has come together. its no longer them or us. its Norwegians!

There is a lot of damages to the surrounding buildings

The Prime ministers office was covered in plastic.

 

 

The civil defense is visible all over Oslo, Thats not everyday that happens.

 

 

 

 

 

 Oslo is covered in flowers and especially red roses. For those of you that don't know that much about Norwegian politics, her is a crash course:

The prime ministers party is the labour party, and their symbol is a red rose. The attacks last Friday was at the labor party's head courters, and the youth organization of the labour party that was on Utøya. And to show our solidarity, we cover the country in roses, and flags that is the biggest nationalistic suggestion one can give to show unity! 

 

 

 

  This is outside our Parliament. And at our Parliament we have a hill that is called lion hill : and at the bottom of this hill is two Lions. 

 

 This is the wall beside the town hall. people have put flowers in all the cracks and holes in the wall. This looks even more stunning in real life.I was lucky that I didn't now anyone that died. If I had been a teen It would have been more likely that I would have known somebody.

But that doesn't mean that my hearts doesn't bleeds with you. My hearth aces, and I wish I could do more.

I know I am not in a position to help rebuild Utøya, or help in the grief process to those who are still here.

I have always been a girl that helps everyone, and everybody. If someone needed it, I would be there.

And I hope I one day can be there for my friends, family and the kids at red cross Oslo homework help.

Is there something this attacks can do for the Norwegian people is that we need each other, we need everyone, and we need us to be open for our differences, and embrace our right to be free. We have the right to be whatever we want. You can even be a criminal, but that will get you thrown  in jail. But what I have learned over the last week is that even criminals has an honor codex, and they are together with us on the outside in this horrible time.  

I have a dream, and my dream is that we will keep our open society. We will embrace our differences, and we will keep fighting for peace- but in a peaceful way. I dream that we will put down our guns, fly our combat aircrafts home, and drive the humvees back to Norway and honor the lives that has been lost because one man wants an armed revolution. He will not get it! 

2 Our small country.

This are the lyrics to the song: Norwegian:

   Mitt lille land
Et lite sted der en håndfull fred slengt ut
blant vidder og fjord
Mitt lille land,der høye fjell står plantet mellom hus,
og mennesker og ord.
Der stillhet, og drømmer gror.
Som et ekko,
i karrig jord.
Mitt lille land,
der havet stryker mildt om rygg,
som kjærtegn fra kyst til kyst.
Mitt lille land, der stjerner glir forbi og blir et landskap når det blir lyst,
mens natten,
står blek og tyst.

English:

My little country
A small place where a handful of peace thrown out
among the plains and the sea
My little country, where high mountains are planted between the house
and people and words.
Where silence and dreams grow.
As an echo,
in barren soil.
My little country,
where the sea gently stroking the back,
who caress from coast to coast.
My little country, where the stars slip by and become a landscape when it is light,
while at night,
are pale and silent.

0 We nee each other

 I don't understand why everything in this country is canceled??
We who are left behind need each other. we need festivals, summer tours, a barbecue and dance away the grief oat the disco.
We need a rose ceremonies every Monday, for the rest of the summer.
This isn't a time to be a lone. This is a time to be together. Cry, laugh, sing, dance, grief, or just be silent together.

If you want to be active- there is a lot of things that need to be build up again after the terrorist act. Go to Utøya and help rebuild it, If you don't have the health to do that. Donate money if you cant donate time.
 either way, do it together with others. We are all affected with this horrible actions. Don't go through it alone, and if you need someone, call the red cross local branch, or other charities that can help you to get through this.